He Keeps Rearranging the House. How do I Stop From Rearranging His Anatomy

[sherrand]

Dear Platzski,

I have an occupation that takes me away from home sometimes days at a time. On a number of occasions I've come home to find a room in the house rearranged. Furniture shuffled or moved to another room or even another level in our home. His last brilliant project involved moving a tall-boy dresser from the top floor to the basement. The walls are still shedding tears from the damage he did accomplishing this.

He never warns me he is thinking of doing this or being possessed by the itch to play musical chairs with our decor he just does it. But never when I'm occupying the house. I come home from a road trip and find chunks of our furniture arrangement moved. I've learned to turn all the lights on when I come home late at night so I don't trip over the table that used to be on the other side of the room. I learned this from the hard school of knocks.

How can I break him of this habit? What will it take? Can I regain the stability that everything will be in it's place when I return from work?

If you don't have an answer soon I'm libel to take matters into my own hands!

[Platzki]

Oh!  I heard of this so many times.  People think this is funny but it's actually very serious.  The name of the actual disorder is "Unremitting Repositioning Syndrome" and can be fatal if not treated.  The reason it's fatal is because it causes so much aggravation in the people whose stuff is getting moved that many times, they'll kill the person.

Your husband is a rare case since this disorder is more common in women than in men.

You must get your husband into an Anti-relocation therapy session.  He sounds like a serious case so he'll have probably have to go a lot... like oh I don't know... 72 times a week or so.  Then he'll just need to go 10-15 times a week to maintain.

In order to keep your sanity until his therapy is completed, might I suggest a big box of wine and a large vibrating egg. 

I'm sure all will be fine and you'll have control of your home back soon.  Best of luck to you!!

Remember... the shins you save may be your own!

Thanks for visiting Ask Platzki!!  Come Again!!

[Mojavelyn]

Wait a second Sher...

 How did you cat move the furniure?

And where did you find my skillet?