I am about to kill my neighbors ....

[ABeautifulSecret]

Dear Platzki -

We've been living in our home for 3 years now. We have a house on each side of us. Here is my dilemma ....

The neighbor on the left owns a motorcycle. Now I normally LOVE motorcycles, but this guy is a pain in the @ss. When he comes in and out of the driveway he rev's the engine as high as it goes ... and normally this is at night. Many times now he has woken up the sleeping children (which is Rule #1 in my house - Don't Wake The Sleeping Baby). I've thought about tacks in the driveway but figured you could come up with a more 'creative' way to show my anger.

Now the neighbor on the right is an older woman. She loves gardening and taking care of her lawn. That normally happens any time between 10:00 AM and 2:00 PM. Now the girls normally go down for a nap at 11:30 AM and 12:00 PM. That is when the 'right' neighbor starts her lawnmower and cuts her grass, thus waking up the sleeping children (please read Rule #1 above). ALSO she has a dog that LOVES to come over to my yard to do his business. (I am understanding now why fences makes good neighbors ). I do not own a dog and I don't feel that I should be watching where I step while running around with the kids....

I've been a quiet neighbor for 3 years now, but I think its time to come out of my shell.

Platz, any good ideas to help with my problems?

Frustrated In NY

[Platzki]

Neighbors... can't live with them... can't kill 'em.

Think you got problems?  I hate my neighbors too.  He never lets his wife ut of the house, we can hear him screaming at her and he's a racist, egomaniacal, lying, hypocritical bigot that Ive had the cops on already cause he told us that he was gonna kill us.  Know why he hates us so much?  Because we had a little girl come over to play one day that was black.  He babysits kids of a friend of his after school everyday and my daughter had a friend over to play who happened to be black.  The little girl the guy watched was the same age as my daughter and they played together every day afer school.  Until that day... that day... he came over screaming and yelling about having an (insert N word here) on his property and who the hell did we think we are inviting "that" to our house and if we know whats good for us, we'll keep the (insert N word here) on our own f'in side of the yard!! 

My kids were hysterical, the little girl had to go home, she was so upset and since that day, it's been hell on earth (this was about a year ago).  In about March... He got this great dane dog that the size of a pony... he kept it caged in the backyard and it would squeal and bark and yap until 11:30 at night sometimes.  Finally, by June, I had had enuff... I sat on my back porch and waited for the a-hole to come out to get the dog.  When he did, I yelled into his yard... "It's about time... the noise statute in this town is 9:00!! Shut your dog the hell up and take him in if he's gonna bark!"  He started screaming at me to shut the f up and he would shoot us... oh did I mention, he's an ex Philly cop with a huge ego that has a gun?   I told him that he shouldn't talk like that to me and if he didn't stop, I'd call the cops... he's like "Go ahead!" The Bill came out and he started again... meanwhile he's walking slowly onto my property as he's screaming... I ran in and got the phone and made Bill come in.  Bill called the cops and told them what happened.  They came out and we told them what happened.  They saw our daughter was sobbing... she thought the neighbor was gonna shoot us!! This made the cop mad when he saw her crying and then when we told him that he was an ex-cop and has a gun, he rolled his eyes and said, "That explains a lot."  Philadelphia cops have very bad reputations of being hotheads.

So he went over there and I don't know what he said to him but now... he walks his dog to the cage and right back in. (I think the cop told him that the cage was too small and it was animal cruelty to keep the dog in there)... and they put up a small privacy fence around their patio so we don't have to look at their ugly mugs. I still have to see them when they walk that dog to the cage but they don't even look in this direction anymore.  I don't know what that cop said to them but I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that!!!  Oh... a few weeks later, the dog got away from him when he was taking him to the cage (did I mention these people are in their 70's and have a hard time handling this dog?) and the dog got hit by a car?  And the moron never even took him to a vet!!  He was in the house for days (they have a very tiny little car and no one comes over there and I know that dog won't fit in that car) and when we saw it again, it was limping and very thin...

So... I'd rather have your problems... BUT... my advice is this...

For the biker guy... my hubby rode bikes and we have some bikers around here and when they go by revving he always says... "There's no need to do that!"  So my take is... go to your neighbor and politely explain the problem.  Tell him that he comes home late and when he revs so loud it wakes the kids which puts you in a strange position because by then, your usually naked and drunk and it's very inconvenient.  If the guy is cool at all, he'll try to keep it down.

For the dog lady... this is not acceptable... as far as the mowing goes... politely tell her the problem and ask her to work with you. Explain that the kids are getting older and it's only temporary until their past their nap stage.  If she refuses, ask her if she's gained weight cause she really looks like crap.  As far as the dog goes... ask her to kindly curb her dog onto her OWN freshly manicured lawn since it is a health hazard or your going to try our your new Good Housekeeping Cookbook "Doggy Styles" on the little four-legged pisser... you heard he makes one hell of a fondue!!!

WHEW!

Thanks for visiting Ask Platzki! Come Again! (And if the dog does... kick it!) 

[QUILT]

Priceless!!!!!!    Platzki you made my day!

[farvelcargo]

Wow your neighbors suck guys!
My next door neighbors moved in during the summer before the 2004 Presidential election. Early in September she put up three, 6 foot, plywood yard signs that she spray painted, blasting one of the candidates. The neighbor on the other side of her and I were for the opposing candidate. So for the first time in our lives we put up a political sign in our yards. Just the normal size ones. So the neighbor in the middle kept moving her 6 foot signs to block the view of our signs! It was pretty comical. No words were ever exchanged!

Hey Patti! If you go over to the neighbors to talk like Platzki suggested, take a plate of cookies with you!
Kill them with kindness.

[Platzki]

Hey Patti! If you go over to the neighbors to talk like Platzki suggested, take a plate of cookies with you!

And box wine...

[farvelcargo]

You're on to something Platzki! Get the old lady drunk before she cuts the grass and then she'll decide she needs a nap too! While she's napping you shovel the sh... poop over to her lawn!

[Platzki]

Yeah!

Get her crocked and kick the crap!  :girlbar:

[CrankyCanuck]

Yeah!

Get her crocked and kick the crap!  :girlbar:

While yer at it, kick the crap outta that nasty bugger with the Great Dane!  He deserves it.  Maybe you should call animal protection or spca if he's not looking after that dog.

Shelley

[Platzki]

Ya know... I'd love to but I know he'd know it was us and I fear for our kids safety.  My kids come before the dog, ya know?  We live on the corner so my kids have to pass their house for everything... going to the school bus, riding their bikes, riding their skateboards... I hate it.

As long as he's leaving me, bill and the kids alone... he can do what he wants with his dog.  I know that sounds harsh but this guy is a nut bag.  Besides I think the cops warned him about the care of the dog... he never leaves him out in the cage anymore.  The dog got hit by a car after this incident.  Funy thing is... if he was a nice guy, we woulda helped him get the dog back.  He ran right over to our yard and wanted to come into the fence... he just wanted to play.  We easily could have just let him in the gate and he would have been safe.  He is really a sweet, kind animal.  Nut job refused to come on our property and the dog ran away again and right into the road... did I mention we live next to a 4 lane highway?  That's what's on the other side of our house which is why the kids always have to pass his house... they're not allowed near the highway.

Oh btw... the dogs name?  Oh... I don't know... could it be.... perhaps... Satan?  (yes... it is...)

There was a guy on the news last year that shot a teenage boy for walking on his lawn.  That scares the crap out of me.  My son is the sweetest, kindest kid but he looks like your typical teenager and now with his longer hairstyle looks a little more "teenagery"... LOL  I just don't want him to have any problems...

I'm just glad the guy is leaving us alone... 

[CrankyCanuck]

Ya know... I'd love to but I know he'd know it was us and I fear for our kids safety.  My kids come before the dog, ya know?  We live on the corner so my kids have to pass their house for everything... going to the school bus, riding their bikes, riding their skateboards... I hate it.
[snip]

Yeah, I do understand that, it's different when you've got young kids around the place - it's not just yourselves to worry about.  The guy sounds like a psychotic - sorry to hear you're saddled with a neighbour like that. I certainly wouldn't hesitate calling the cops at any provocation from him.

[Platzki]

Believe me... I'll never hesitate...

I think his ego took a big hit the last time... I think he was shocked we actually did.  He is a horrid person.  He screams at his wife.  One day, Tori was out riding her bike and came in th ehouse crying.  She was so upset because he could hear him screaming and cursing at his wife. 

The wife never, NEVER comes outside.  Maybe she brings the dog to the cage once a week but then she hides behind a tree while he is going to the bathroom.  I feel very sorry for her.

[CrankyCanuck]

Nor should you - it sounds like it did some good.  I want to say, "That poor woman", but why do women put up with men like this?  Do they really believe they deserve this kind of treatment?  He wouldn't want to be married to me!  It'd be the like the "Burning Bed" all over again! LOL! I have no tolerance for that kind of crap.  My hubby's a tough cookie, but he would never think of verbally or physically abusing me - he would consider that such a cowardly thing to do.  Not to mention the fact that his father would come back from the grave and smite him!!     You can only hope this woman will take the dog and get the hell out of there before this lunatic does them both in!  He's pretty old - maybe he'll move to a retirement home soon - I hope for your sake.

Shelley