Marriage Advice

[ABeautifulSecret]

My three year anniversary is coming up on Tuesday. My question is, Do you have any advice on marriage? How to control you husband? Any advice is useful


~Patti~

[The Tavern Wench]

Patti...
 
You've been married for three years?!?!  Whew! That's a long time.  My own personal record is two years and that seemed like an eternity.  Didn't think I was ever gonna get rid of that one.  Even after he was gone, the dogs still kept digging him back up for another six months.  It was a mess I tell you! ...but I digress. 
 
My best advice about marriage is don't do it, but it's too late for that.  You already took the big dive.  But do not despair!  With Crabby's help, you can make this a match made in heaven whether your husband likes it or not.

Best way I've found of controlling a husband is duct tape.  Works everytime.  Freezer wrap and Ziplocs work pretty good too though.  Try both and see what happens! 

HTH 

Crabby

[Pixie Soap]

Ok, let me see if I have any advice to beat crabby's, but probably not, that was too funny!! 

I will be celebrating my 9th anniversary in October. And I spent 8 years before that testing out the cow.

I always believed you can love a lot of people in your life, but the one you marry should be the one whose flaws bug you the least!

Withy my guy, silence works best, he hates that. Then if I am in a mood to just piss him off, I become very sarcastic and mocking. Me mocking? Can you believe it!!   

Congrats on the anniversary! They do say the 7th is the kicker!! 

[Platzki]

My advice is this... work on your oral sex techniques.  Then you have complete control and power over your man. 

He will do and say anything you want, any time you want.  Diamond rings, expensive dinners... or mundane things like taking out the trash and mowing the lawn.  The possibilities are endless!!!

Happy anniversary!!!  And don't do anything I wouldn't do!!!

Thanks for visiting Ask Platzki!! 

[myobeeswax]

I have to agree with Platzki on that one. It has never failed.

I've been with mine for 10 years and when I feel that he is getting out of line I tell him I am going out with my friends, I take off my wedding ring, stay out until 6:00 a.m. and let him find me in the morning passed out on the couch with no underwear and my shirt on backwards. Scares the shit out of him every time!

[The Tavern Wench]

        

[chiquita]

Kelli Kelli Kelli,

Oh that is cold. Yet absolutely brilliant
 

[CrankyCanuck]

Have to jump in with my advice here, because that's the way I am!

I'm in agreement with Crabby on the duct tape - we Canucks know all about duct tape (note our resident expert Red Green), and the nice thing is, it now comes in many decorative colors so hubby doesn't have to go around looking all ugly and sh*t!

In addition to that, I recommend threats and violence - it's always worked for me!  I keep a handy variety of very sharp implements around for just those special occasions.
 :wussy

Shelley (aka Mistress of the Night)

[Platzki]

I have to agree with Platzki on that one. It has never failed.

I've been with mine for 10 years and when I feel that he is getting out of line I tell him I am going out with my friends, I take off my wedding ring, stay out until 6:00 a.m. and let him find me in the morning passed out on the couch with no underwear and my shirt on backwards. Scares the shit out of him every time!

Wow!!  I'm gonna try that!!  Thanks!!  *hamster*