What should the consequences be?

[chiquita]

Dear Platzki,

What should the consequences be when you catch your teenager in a lie, including lying about lying?

Thank You,
Pissed off Parent
 

[Platzki]

Dear pissed:

Did you actually think you would raise a teenage  ??

When he lies... just  and  and  and 

And just be glad he's not 

So there...

Thanks for visiting Ask Platzki.... come again... and tell him if he lies, Santa won't come... 

[2boysandtoys]

I can relate to the OP - and add a whole bunch to it...

So Platzki - when all 'that' doesn't work, and the teenager is 6'2" and 185 pounds and the mom is 5'2" and 110 pounds - how does one kick said teenager's butt?   

[Platzki]

I can relate to the OP - and add a whole bunch to it...

So Platzki - when all 'that' doesn't work, and the teenager is 6'2" and 185 pounds and the mom is 5'2" and 110 pounds - how does one kick said teenager's butt?   

Buy a ladder...

 

I know... my son is 14, 5' 11" and 171 pounds. 

I'm 5' 8"...

I yell up.   

[The Tavern Wench]

You have to convince them when they are still little that you are 10 ft tall and bullet proof. 

That and teach them if they're going to be a liar, at least be a good liar. 

Worked for me....so far.   

[knappschiles]

When they get too big for intimidation or a spanking, maybe losing some privileges will work. Things like driving the car, and computer time come to mind. I don't know if that will work with ALL kids, but should work for some of them.

Of course this advice comes from someone that has never had kids of her own, so take it for what it's worth.

Carol

[Platzki]

My son couldn't care less if we took privileges away... until this year... mwahahahahha....

He still knows "the look" though... one look from me or his dad and he knows when to shut up.

My 10 y/o daughter however, if you even look at her slightly crooked, she bursts into tears... she HATES to be punished...

POWER, POWER, POWER!!!!

 

[chiquita]

He's a skinny child so I can still take him. His problem is he doesn't get it. His reply is well you ground me for every little thing.
OY 

Carol his favorite things are now gone, buh bye. Thank goodness this is the last one to get through puberty, now I just hope we survive it.
 

[Platzki]

You're right... they just don't get it... NO common sense whatsoever!!!


 

[2boysandtoys]

Oh lordie......I could tell ya stories - he's 'intelligent as all get-out' but dumber than a box of rocks.  He does not lie well at all, and keeps getting caught when he breaks the rules - which is always/every day.  He's been grounded for the entire Quarter, as his grades suck.  He's not got a driver's permit (he's 15), and he's not getting a license - until he moves out....the rate he's going.

I have not yet found that 'magic bullet' that works.  I've taken away just about everything, and this week - made him give notice at his job.  He's mouthy, argumentative, hanging with some 'bad folks', been caught with pot, cigs, drinking....I may NOT survive for the 2.3 years until he turns 18. 

What's so funny - he always get's caught.  He's never 'yet' asked me how I know all that I do (duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - dumber than a box of rocks). 

2nd born - scared to death of loosing his privileges.  He's 13 going on 14, and has recently been getting mouthy.  I just make him sit down and right 'it' 100 times.  Today, he had to write shut up, and dusche bag ---- 100 times. 

My biggest issue - when the oldest is grounded, we all are.  My hubbie travels 80% of the time so we're all stuck here.  Can't trust the oldest alone - he was trying to light a cig. with a blow torch one day (and then wonders how he get's caught....) 

There are days I can laugh, but it is truly breaking my heart.  If I had the gumption, he'd be gone to military school....

[The Tavern Wench]

What should the consequences be when you catch your teenager in a lie, including lying about lying?

Kill him.  Bury him in the backyard and tell everyone he ran away.   

[QUILT]

  Deb

Dear Platzki,

What should the consequences be when you catch your teenager in a lie, including lying about lying?

Thank You,
Pissed off Parent
 

NO! NO! NO!

You're all going about it all wrong!  What you need to do is wrap your arms around them, give them a warm hug, tell them you LOVE them and your sorry that you upset them.
  Then do the above suggestion.  

[chiquita]

Mine tells me that lying is just a perception, and I went WTH???? The only perception I said is that you got caught, you are grounded and this is strike 2. He loves to debate, drives me insane. 

Erin maybe we should just lock them in a closet till the hormones settle down, and then pack their overnight bag when they hit 18 and throw them a going out into the real world party.
 

[texastreasures]

Speaking as the mom of two sons whom I finally got raised and out of the house-you all started out wrong. by the time mine could walk, I had them  convinced that I really could turn them into frogs-kept them pretty much in line-some days.  There's still that fear in the back of their mind that i might be able to!
Teen years suck, big time. But they pass, and then you send them off to college and don't have to worry about anything but paying the bills and why they have empty beer cans in the bed of their pickup, and who is stealing all that money out of their bank accounts-lol! Just do not ever, for any reason, visit their apartment at college, as this raises new worries about food poisoning, health department visits..and what they smell like when they dress from the selection of clothing on the living room floor..
Do not meet their college friends, as you really don't want to hear the war stories about last week's frat party, or the hunting trip with the 6 cases of beer, or when they decided to climb on top of the history building and throw water bombs at the professors coming out. You don't want to know that their girlfriend has a part time job as a stripper or their room mate keeps his marijuana in the charcoal grill on the back porch.
Then they grow up, get married and have children-and come to you for advice on how to make their 4 year old behave in the grocery store...
REVENGE IS SO SWEET!!   

[2boysandtoys]

I'm counting the days until 18 with this one.  NOW - this is a child who never picks up anything, never remembers to flush a toilet, forgets to feed his lizard and - then.....thinks at the age of 18, he and buddies will just 'rent' our rental home - NO FREAKIN' WAY!!!!

I am confident that I will survive.  Some days, I'm not so confident he will survive.  He used to be scared of me.  However, when they find 'creative friends', they start suggesting that I can NOT control him, grounding him is child abuse and I could go on and on.  He has a justification and rationalization for EVERYTHING....including why the toilet is never flushed...

Quilt.....you are cracking me up - yes - hug them and suggest 'we own the problem' - this is the 'current way' and look at the generation we are raising!!!!  Super scary!!