Where can I find literate customers?

[moodymama]

Dear Platzki,
How can illiterate people work a computer well enough to buy an item? I get so tired of dealing with people who are either not able to, or choose not to read and comprehend what they are reading.
Here is my most recent case. My terms state I will combine shipping on items purchased in a 3 day period of time. Payment is expected within 7 days of original purchase. NO CHECKS! So, this customer purchases an item, three days later purchases another item. I combine shipping. She emails and says she is sending money order. 5 days later, she buys another item and wants combined shipping. I say no. Items are supposed to already be paid for by now. She says sorry, sending money order today. A few days later, I get payment. It is a personal check! It is even a personal check on a brand new account. So, I am sending her check back to her today. I used to accept checks but had three bounce and had to pay bad check fees on all of them. I won't do it anymore!
So, I am not really looking for advice on what to do about the situation. Just wondering if maybe there is something about my store that attracts illiterates and the like. I get so tired of dealing with dummies!

[Platzki]

Dear Moody...

I have cried myself to sleep over bad buyers!!  They don't read terms and conditions so you might as well give up on that one!  To ease the pain tho...

#1 - Get rid of the combined shipping on items purchased within 3 days.  Only offer it if items are purchased at the same time.

#2 - Send the check back... cry... whine... jump up and down... and inform the customer that you take MONEY ORDERS AND PAYPAL!!!!!

#3 - Buy wine... you're gonna need it for online sales.

#4 - Go on vacation.

#5 - Or you can bag the whole thing and move to Guam...

Have a nice day and thanks for visiting Aski Platzki!! 

[kj4kicks]

Guam? Sir, there's nothing going on in Guam !

It's nothing personal. After all, it's just radio !

(shakes head)... more need of a ... than any man I know....

[Platzki]

Guam? Sir, there's nothing going on in Guam !

It's nothing personal. After all, it's just radio !

(shakes head)... more need of a ... than any man I know....

GOOOOOOODDDD MORNIN' VIETNAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!