Joke of The Day....

[2boysandtoys]

Super silly but make you giggle...............

'What do ya call a cow with no legs?'

 

GROUND BEEF   

 

[2boysandtoys]

And just one more 'for the road':

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.

"No!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!".

     

[2boysandtoys]

Funnies for ya today:

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

 

[QUILT]

 

[chiquita]

This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat.
His wife said, "Where are you going ?"
He said, "I'm going to the doctor."
And she said, "Why? Are you sick?"
"No," he said. "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweater
and he said, "Where are you going?"
She said, "I'm going to the doctor too."
He said, "Why?"
She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing
again, I'm  going to get a tetanus shot."

 
 

 

[vinewood]

  very  cute 

[2boysandtoys]

A tetanus shot.... - that's way too funny!!!

Here's another funny to get ya thru your Friday:

Snow White received a camera as a gift. She happily took pictures of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch she took the film to be developed. After a week or so she went to get the finished photos. The clerk said the photos were not back from the processor.

Needless to say, she was disappointed and started to cry. The clerk, trying to console her, said,

"Don't worry. Someday your prints will come". 

[QUILT]

That is an adorable joke 2boysandtoys  and I can't wait for my niece to get home from school so I can call her and tell her.  She is a big Snow White fan.  Thanks for the laugh

[2boysandtoys]

Here's your joke of the day.....much more of a riddle:

Q: What do you call a penguin in the desert?

  :bye7:


A: Lost.

[QUILT]

 

[2boysandtoys]

And....I almost forgot - here's your joke of the day!!!

Q.  There are 10 cats in a basket and one cat jumps out. How many are left?

A.  None. They are all copycats!!!!

 

And yes - I'm a terrible joke-teller - as I do sit there and laugh at my own jokes!! 

[2boysandtoys]

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an
urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees
home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"

Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster
the boss asked," Is your Daddy home?"

"Yes", whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."

Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked," Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes", came the answer. "May I talk with her?" Again
the small voice whispered, "no".

Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home
alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person
who should be there watching over the child. "Is there anyone there
besides you?" the boss asked the child.

"Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman". Wondering what a cop would be
doing at his employee's home, the boss asked "May I speak with the
policeman"?

"No, he's busy", whispered the child." Busy doing
what?, asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman",
came the whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a
helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is
that noise?"

"A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice. "What is going on
there?", asked the boss, now alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just
landed the hello-copper"

Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss
asked, "Why are they there"?

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle:

"They're looking for me"

[QUILT]

That is funny

[2boysandtoys]

Joke of the Day........~~~~~


A burglar breaks into a house. He starts shining his light around looking for valuables. Some nice things catch his eye, as he reaches for them, he hears, "Jesus is watching you." Startled, the burglar looks for the speaker. Seeing no one, he keeps putting things in his bag, again, he hears, "Jesus is watching you." This time, he sees a parrot.

 
"Who are you?" the burglar asks.

 
"Moses," the bird replied.

 
"Who the heck would name a bird Moses?" the man laughed.

 
"I dunno," Moses answered," I guess the same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."

 

[chiquita]

I guess the same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus

WOOF WOOF