The Bleached Blonde Joke of the Day

[The Bar Keep]

A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to
kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park,
grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this
note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I
need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the
big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde".
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him
to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park
to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just
as she had instructed.
Inside the bag was the following note. "Here is your money. I
cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."

[The Tavern Wench]

    

[QUILT]

 

[chiquita]

 
 

[The Bar Keep]

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?"
After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."
They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.
Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her.
Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."
The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?"
The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"

[Platzki]

Hey!  I resemble these remarks!!!   

You're in for it now!!! 

 

[myobeeswax]

The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"

Well Duh! Of course you would have to go at night!

[chiquita]

Drunken Man
    
After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "You wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The person replies, "I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?"

The man thinks for a while and replies, "Not if I have to explain it three times."

[chiquita]

The Blonde at the Elmo factory

    
Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.

After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!''

[The Tavern Wench]

     two test tickles     

[Platzki]

    two test tickles     

I peed again...

[River Rat]

    two test tickles     

I peed again...

They told me you were housebroken...     

[Platzki]

    two test tickles     

I peed again...

They told me you were housebroken...     

I usually am! 

[chiquita]

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?


A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

 :confused: :confused: :confused:

[chiquita]

Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.

The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

    "I think they could be bird tracks."

The second blonde went to look and said,

    "No, I think these are deer tracks."

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!

 :blink