The Bleached Blonde Joke of the Day

[chiquita]

A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

    "Where did you get that?"

The pig replied,

    "I won her in a raffle!"

 



 

[2boysandtoys]

Someone saw a blonde eating a Tootsie Roll Pop and asked her, "So, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll - Tootsie Pop?"

Without a thought, the blonde replied, "Beats me, but it took almost the whole day just to lick through the wrapper."

 

[chiquita]

 
 

[2boysandtoys]

     A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me, I have a jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started.

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, ...let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

[The Tavern Wench]

                 

[chiquita]

There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.
"No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"

 
 

[2boysandtoys]

 

[2boysandtoys]

One day a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were out window shopping, when they came across an old mysterious shop.

The three girls went inside, and went up to the counter where an old woman was standing.

The old woman looked them over, and asked the girls if they wanted to see something. The girls curiously said yes.

Then the old woman pulled out a very old looking jar.

The old woman said to the girls, "This is a magic jar, you whisper something you think is true into it, and if it is true, something really GREAT will happen.

BUT if it isn’t true..... POOF!! You’ll disappear off the face of the earth."

The redhead said she would go first. She took the jar and whispered into it, "I think I'm the most beautiful girl in the world."

POOF!!!! The redhead disappeared.

Then the brunette said, "Let me try I don't lie." She took the jar and whispered, "I think I'm the smartest girl in the world...

POOF!!!!! She disappears.

Then the blonde says, "Well let me try. She took the jar and whispered..

"I think... POOF!! She disappeared!!

 

[QUILT]

 

[2boysandtoys]

This blond decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blond jokes and how all blonds are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blonds really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and detects the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK.

She replies, "Yes."

He asks what she is doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blond women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has on a ski jacket and a fur coat.

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, "For best results, put on two coats."

 

[2boysandtoys]

There was a blonde and a brunette at a bar watching the ten o’clock news, and there was a man at the edge of a cliff about to jump off.

The brunette said, "I bet you fifty dollars that he will jump."

The blonde said, "Ok".

They both put there money on the
bar. The man jumped off, so the brunette took the money and said, "Do you know how I knew he
was going to jump?"

The blonde said, "How".

The brunette said, "I saw the five o’clock news."

The blonde said, "So did I, I just didn't think he would jump again."
 

[Cherry Pits]

Hey...this should be named BLEACHED blonde jokes. Most NATURAL blondes are very intelligent. It's the bleached ones that give blondes a bad rap! (Something to do with all the chemicals seeping into the brain or sniffing the fumes. Jury is still out on which one.)

[flying high]

I agree with that. 

[2boysandtoys]

We'll have to request a thread name change of those in charge!!!!! 

[The Tavern Wench]

We'll have to request a thread name change of those in charge!!!!! 

Ask and ye shall receive...