The Bleached Blonde Joke of the Day

[flying high]

 

[chiquita]

Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in."

The second blonde said, "Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus' being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in, either."

The third blonde said, "Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it."

"Very good!" said St. Peter.

The blonde continued. "Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball."

St. Peter fainted!

 

[The Tavern Wench]

Why did the blonde snort NutraSweet? She thought it was diet coke.

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
 
What does a smart blonde and a UFO have in common? You are always hearing about them, but you never actually see one.

Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? Takes too long to retrain them.
 
What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? "Oh look! Doughnut seeds!"

What do you call a blonde dyed brunette? Artificial intelligence.

What do you call three blondes in a freezer? Frosted Flakes.

 

[chiquita]

 
frosted flakes
 

[2boysandtoys]

  for the thread change - 

Laughing so hard on the frosted flakes too!! 

[chiquita]

Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed?

He wanted to see what he looked like asleep.

 

[2boysandtoys]

A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.

A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL." 

[2boysandtoys]

 

One day a blonde was sitting on a bench crying. A man comes by and asks her what is wrong. The blonde tells the man that her mom just died. The man sits down next to her and says, “Nothing could be worse than that.”

The blonde looks at the man and starts crying even harder. The man asks, “Are you gonna be ok?” The blonde says, “It does get worse. I just talked with my sister her mom had died too.”

 

[2boysandtoys]

We got 2 for ya today all:

Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on top of her.

Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champion.

 

[The Tavern Wench]

 

[chiquita]

Q: What did the blonde customer say after reading the buxom waitress' nametag?

A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one?''


Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?

A: Tell her a joke on Monday!


Q: What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?

A: A rebel without a clue.


 

[The Tavern Wench]

A rebel without a clue.

 

[2boysandtoys]

A blond decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blond

  begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

[2boysandtoys]

What does a blonde owl say?


What, what?

 

[kevinatgrannys]

Oh my...