Ok, shoot me crabby as I wasn't quite sure where to place this one.
While browsing on Etsy I ran across the best store. The seller makes cards called hatemail. They look like designer cards, but say things you have only dreamed hallmark would put on the shelves.
I laughed my ass off, there are fantastic ones and cute little business cards you can give out.
I just had to share as I think you all would love them!! I also wouldn't be shocked if some of you have already bought some of these!!

I think one of my favorites is one with tulips on it that says "Sorry, I will speak slower next time"
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5070142