Hey, I think some of these people live up here in Alberta too!!
You Might be a Redneck if.....Only in Alberta... This was in the Calgary Sun, one of the main Alberta newspapers. The title of the
article was "Best Comeback Line Ever."
In summary; The police arrested Ward Branham, a 22-year-old white
male, resident of Lethbridge, Alberta, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.
Ward will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public
indecency, and public intoxication at the Calgary courthouse on Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know,
a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around there for miles.
At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview. Ward went on to say
that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin
that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and
proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."
"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Ward apparently failed to notice a police car
approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brin Taylor approached him.
"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Ward) and he's
....just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when SHE
approached Ward. "I just went up and said, Excuse me sir, but do you
realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then
looked me straight in the face and said... "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"
Shelley
Author
