A Crab in need please donate!!!

[The Bar Keep]

I don't know if this is the right place to say this or not, but I'm going to say it anyways! 

Erin, Sue, The Bar Tender and The Tavern Wench...I am so proud of all of you!!!  All of you...donating you time and talent for this, is wonderful!  I wish that there were more of this type of thing happening in the world. 

You are doing a rare and beautiful thing! 

(The names above are in no particular order...)

Thank you Kevin sorry I missed this post before but again thank you!! I think if we all put our heads together we can come up with some really inovative ways to promote the ribbon. Anyone who wants to help please send me a PM or post an idea in the SHS board. As you can see we have made a difference and need to continue doing so.


Joe

[2boysandtoys]

Harold.....so glad to hear the update and wonder if:

In your area, there are any volunteer organizations that can assist.  My parents (retired, 73) volunteer in their community, and my dad drives elderly folks to Dr Appts, Dentist, Grocery, etc. 

My mom goes and sits with folks and reads to them or just stays so the primary caregiver(s) can have breaks.  She also volunteers at a local grade school helping children who are struggling with reading to 'read better' - my point ----- there may be folks in your area with spare time to help even if it's just to run errands for you or something!

Just another thought from this tired brain.....  to you both and if we could take away some of the burden, we would!!

[The Pet Guy]

Harold.....so glad to hear the update and wonder if:

In your area, there are any volunteer organizations that can assist.  My parents (retired, 73) volunteer in their community, and my dad drives elderly folks to Dr Appts, Dentist, Grocery, etc. 

My mom goes and sits with folks and reads to them or just stays so the primary caregiver(s) can have breaks.  She also volunteers at a local grade school helping children who are struggling with reading to 'read better' - my point ----- there may be folks in your area with spare time to help even if it's just to run errands for you or something!

Just another thought from this tired brain.....  to you both and if we could take away some of the burden, we would!!

Erin .. It may not seem so because of my forthcomings here but we are a very private people. I was raised to be self-sufficient but not to the point of being standoffish.  I am becoming aware of the available of these types of helpful people. We may need to get some help with transportation or other assistance as time goes. Martha will have to go to therapy five days a week for at least eight weeks once she gets started.

I coached Junior Soccer and Little League Baseball for seventeen years. I have also coached High School Fall Baseball for three years. My point with this is I understand the joy of being a volunteer. Accepting help from a volunteer would put me on the other side of the coin, if that makes any sense.

As to taking away some of our burden, I tell you and all the others here this. I would have to have the available funds of someone like “The Trumpster” if I were going to pay for all the support Martha and I have received and are receiving from everyone from this wonderful community. If a new member would take the time to read the postings here, they could see a place where we can summit helpful postings, funny postings, informative postings, loving postings, near the gutter postings and in the case of this thread a display of human kindness and concern not often found in today’s fast paced society.

Man; where did all that come from? I must be testing Martha’s meds.

[2boysandtoys]

Harold - I about spit my coffee out on my 'new' monitor with your last line!!!  I'm very glad to hear that you are keeping your sense of humor - I am one that relies on mine when the going gets tough!!

I 150% hear you as far as the personal feeling of being a burden and/or a failure IF/WHEN asking for help.  We too was raised to be self-sufficient.  We also were taught to NEVER discuss issues, problems, etc.  My mother (love her dearly) still can't stand when there is 'turmoil' and suggests we should not share with 'extended family'. 

For a variety of reasons, which would bore everyone or make a great novel - I left home at 17.  At that time, I moved in with my bar-tending boyfriend (yet another story) and was told by my parents to never, ever ask to return.  So, 17 years old, sheltered for most of my life, dumber than a box of rocks - I take off - told never to return.

Being taught to never ask for help and never tell secrets, I stayed with the bar-tending boyfriend for 3 years, even tho he beat me, put me in the hospital, burned all my possessions, etc.  I NEVER talked about it, NEVER told anyone about it, NEVER asked for help and felt like the biggest failure ever. 

To this day, I can't tell you why, but one day - I woke up and the idea - 'You do not deserve this, you deserve better than this and you must break away and go' - popped into my head.  We had one car, I took him to work, packed the car, found a very, very small apt. and moved in.  The car was mine; but - out of child-taught stuff - I called him, told him I'd left and he'd need to find a ride home. 

A bunch of drama followed to include stalking (non-existing back then), threats on my life, continued harassment, etc.  Finally, those I worked with suggested I 'needed help'.  I just looked at them like they were taking Martha's drugs.  I NEVER disclosed the beatings, the chaos, etc. - they were offering based on what they were seeing 'now'.

I ended up moving in with one person and her family to hide, and allowed others to help me - emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally.  I still never opened up, and one day, he showed up drunk with a shotgun.  I snapped, and asked the homeowners if they had a gun.  I heard, "Yes, but..." - I demanded the gun. 

I went out on the porch, broad day-light, with gun in hand.  A might fine super large shotgun, which I had no idea how to use - but was willing if needed.  I suggested to my bar-tending boyfriend that either he or I was getting shot - didn't care which, but enough was enough and it was 'time' to resolve.  Police came and yet another story for another day - but it was the FIRST time in my life that I stood up for ME.

A ton of firsts, getting help without asking, standing up for myself, learning that abuse is not normal, etc. but I made a choice right then and there that I, like you, would serve others when I could.  Almost a full 5 years would follow before I got professional help to manage and deal with my past and baggage - but in therapy ... I learned that asking for help is a 'good thing'.  For those who do the service, they are rewarded internally - as you well know.  For those who need the service, they are also rewarded - in many ways - and more often than not ---- it's life-changing.

I share because I 'hear you'.  Asking for help is one of the hardest, if not the most difficult thing we as humans 'have' to do.  That 'have' is not because we are weak, failures or 'other' but because we 'have' to allow others an opportunity to serve.  That, to me, is what we're here for - service work, which is defined very broadly in my life now and in so many ways!

Pick up that phone Harold and reach out.  I know if any of us were closer, we would already have stopped by, driven to appts., shopped if needed or just sat and talked.  I know as one on the outside looking in, it's very hard to know the best way to help a family in crisis.  Don't think of it as 'for you' - think about it as 'for them'.

Off my soap-box and hoping Martha is feeling better today!    to you and she and  for listening to my rant!!   

[Platzki]

WOW guys... just WOW... 

Erin... I would have shot him where the sun don't shine (glad you didn't tho...)  We could trade war stories... with a bottle of Jack Daniels, of course...    Bill is my third hubby, not all was so great the first two times...

Harold... maybe Martha will share her meds... have you asked her?  Just teasing... You sound like my hubby with the coaching.  He coaches the basketball township leagues every year.  He just moves up the age brackets as my son (now 14) gets older.  So far this season, they are undefeated 7-0!!!!!  Last year they came in second place and the year before they took the championship!!  He is a great coach and just loves the kids.  He comes home from work looking tired but he shines when he goes to volunteer coach!  Goes to show you that money does not bring happiness.

Have a great day all!!! 

PS - Tell Martha "was'up!" from me!!!

[chiquita]

Medication sharing has saved many a marriage.
 

Sending Martha a big 
Keep your humor Harold, and remember that a caregiver needs to rest, relax, laugh, vent, and cry as needed. It is very easy to get burned out trying to take care of everything. Don't hesitate for a moment to ask for help, a break, or anything else. Life will be waiting with a ton of opportunities in which you can give back later on, so while you have the opportunity to partake in the goodness and kindness of others, do so with joy in your heart.

Erin I am still picturing you standing with a big ole shotgun saying "somebody is going down, and if I was a gambler I would say it ain't me."
 

Maybe that bartender wet himself that day. We can only hope so.
 

[2boysandtoys]

  - I am certain he did wet himself....and -  - about time - eh?  I'm all of 5'2" on a good day and about 110 lbs...  Have always been very small, but rather mighty when needed!  That darn gun was about chin high on my when I lowered the butt to the ground -  - !!

Platzki - I can say I am certain I'm not 'alone' in my experience....yeppers, war stories sure are fun - eh? 

Harold and Martha - I hope today has been good 4 you!  Continued prayers, thoughts and  for ya both! 

[The Pet Guy]

Martha had a better day today. I think she is getting around the corner. She has been up a lot more than other days. She said she isn't hurting as bad. Still taking pain meds but not as often. She is trying to ween off of then. Still having a lot of depression which is hard to see.

She is lying of the couch right now and ask me to say hi to everyone for her.

I am looking foward to when we can and again

[2boysandtoys]

Harold - thanks so much for sharing - waiving back at Martha!!! 

May today be just as good if not better.  My thoughts and prayers continue for you all! 

Well...and of course, the virtual hugs!!

[farvelcargo]

  Hi Martha!
  Hi Harold!

  Have a hug for today and let me know if you need any more!

Sue

[The Pet Guy]

Hi Martha!
  Hi Harold!

  Have a hug for today and let me know if you need any more!

Sue

Thank you Sue and everyone else as well. We are getting ready to go find out when her radiation and chemo treatments will start. She is in good spirits today. Still a lot of pain which I would have thought would be better by now. She isn't able to eat much so she is losing weight. Last night I had to shake the sheets just to find her.  I am trying to stay up beat for both of us.

More later.

[The Pet Guy]

It has been a hard day for Martha today. After another complete exam by the Doctor in charge of the radiation treatments, we found out that the cancer evaluation is at stage two. No one has told us that yet. She has to go back in the morning for another CAT scan. We have an appointment with he Doctor on Thursday. Radiation treatments are to start on Monday. The treatments will be every day for six to eight weeks. That will take up about two hours a day total with Chemo treatments one day a week lasting about four to five hours.

Because of her pain medications, she cannot be alone. They are worry that she may fall again as she did a few days ago. Two of my painting jobs went to another person. I cannot fault them for doing that. I just cannot get to them and people want to move in. 

[2boysandtoys]

Harold - so sorry that today was not too 'good' - hopeful for better days, but they will be mixed from what I've seen and experienced.  Chin up when possible - and work hard to keep that sense of humor.  I am a huge believer that attitude and humor can heal much more than we know!! 

Hugs to ya both - 

[The Pet Guy]

I wanted to post a list of those who have sent a donation to Martha and I. I hope I do not leave anyone out. If leave anyone out please forgive me. Because of your donations, we have been able to pay for some of her medications. Far beyond money have been the words if encouragement. The PMs and personal mailings to Martha have been the best therapy we could have received.

Deb, Joe and Stuart
Abeautifulsecret
IWAC
TFTF
2boysandtoys
A Penny For Luck
Platzki
Shoe Hog
Rho
Diane
Makes Life Easy
Misty Hollow Gifts
Power Sellers Unite
Sherrand
Mo
Sandra
BRW Industries

These people are from all over the USA, Canada and the UK. It truly is a small world. It would be great if peoples and countries could come together like this for a common cause more often than they do!

Your friends in Virginia
Harold and Martha
 

[The Bar Keep]

New promotion coming today stay tuned this one is going to be fun!!!! Thank you for posting that list Harold!!!



Joe - The Bar Keep